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fuck 2017-07-02
i hotel first fuck friend but not have comdom
1 評論, 54 瀏覽次數,
11 票
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Quick jokes 2017-07-01
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A. A carrot
What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. A fsh
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide.
1 評論, 36 瀏覽次數,
10 票
,2.99 分數
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Can Cold Water Clean Dishes? 2017-06-29
John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very
secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan. After spending a great evening chatting the night away,
the next morning John’s grandfather prepared breakfast
of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate,
and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates
clean?” His grandfather replied, ...
1 評論, 104 瀏覽次數,
10 票
,2.99 分數
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Hail Damage 2017-06-23
A Blonde got caught in a severe thunderstorm. Soon it began
hailing heavily. Her car had dents all over it so she took
it to a body shop.
The owner met her at the door and she explained what happened.
He looked out and saw the damage and decided to have some
fun with her. “Let me tell you a little secret that will
save you a lot of money. Blow in the tailpipe and the dents
will ...
3 評論, 160 瀏覽次數,
27 票
,5.03 分數
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The actor & the agent 2017-06-22
An aspiring European actor visits an American agent for
representation. The agent tests him & tells him he has potential.
"What's your name?" " Penis Von Lesbian the actor replies. Agent "You will have to change that if you are to have
a chance at stardom" Actor "Oh No!! I can't do that . My name is an ancient
& honoured name in my country." Agent " I cannot be your agent then. ...
3 評論, 148 瀏覽次數,
18 票
,5.17 分數
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That's crazy 2017-06-12
There are these two lunatics in an insane asylum and they
decide to leave so they slip out one night at lights out,
climb up to the roof and they see the lights of the city off
in the distance glittering like diamonds, like all that
joy and freedom is just waiting for them. They're up
about four stories but across a narrow gap they can get to
another roof. One of them makes the run and jumps and ...
3 評論, 144 瀏覽次數,
11 票
,3.73 分數
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A Dwarf 2017-06-02
Listen to this, I was coming home from work tired as heck, it
was like 99 degrees sweat in my eyes, and knocked the shit out
of the car stopped in front of me. To tired to move I just sat there. In a minute the door opened
on the other car..And I couldn't believe it, a little
dwarf midget got out, had both hands on his hips..he walked right up to
my window.. And said I'm not HAPPY... I snickered ...
1 評論, 122 瀏覽次數,
16 票
,4.60 分數
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whale 2017-06-01
what did one whale say to another whale.....
go home frank ur drunk
2 評論, 41 瀏覽次數,
4 票
,2.08 分數
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ceiling fan 2017-05-30
what noise does a ceilng fan make.....
whoooo go ceiling ur number 1 yeah go ceiling....
2 評論, 25 瀏覽次數,
7 票
,1.00 分數
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...irony of a blowjob... 2017-05-30
...even if you have her on her knees in front of you...she
still "has" you on your balls....
2 評論, 41 瀏覽次數,
9 票
,2.78 分數
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Life in a retirement village! 2017-05-25
On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed
all the seniors pointing out some of her rules: "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds
for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody
caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
She continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule
the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a ...
1 評論, 168 瀏覽次數,
19 票
,5.10 分數
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The Accident 2017-05-23
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've
regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember,
but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're
going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't
find it"
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You ...
6 評論, 178 瀏覽次數,
17 票
,4.68 分數
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The Social Worker 2017-05-20
A social worker from a big city recently transferred to
an area of hills and valleys in the Appalachians and was
on her first tour of her new territory when she came upon
the tiniest cabin she ever had seen.
Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. “Anybody
home?” she asked.
“Yep, ” came a ’s voice through the door.
“If your father there?” asked the ...
2 評論, 133 瀏覽次數,
16 票
,4.01 分數
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Egyptian Camels 2017-05-20
Two ladies visiting Egypt see a local castrating a camel
by banging two bricks together on the camels balls.
They are worried about this and ask the camel driver "
Does it hurt?"
He replied " Only if I get my thumbs caught between
the bricks"
1 評論, 47 瀏覽次數,
12 票
,3.86 分數
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A cowboy and his . 2017-05-18
A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Indians.
They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared
that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they
would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him.
The cowboy can do nothing, but obey them.
The Chief comes up to him and asks: - What do you want for your first wish? - I want talk to my , - replies the ...
4 評論, 152 瀏覽次數,
14 票
,6.18 分數
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3'somes 2017-05-14
a friend of mine turned up and said "hey if it takes
3 people having sex to be a 3some and 2 people having sex to
be a twosome now I understand why everyone says you're
Handsome"
1 評論, 39 瀏覽次數,
5 票
,3.80 分數
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Birthday Barbie 2017-05-14
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly
remembers that it's his 's birthday.
He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How
much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?
We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina ...
2 評論, 120 瀏覽次數,
10 票
,3.58 分數
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2 Black Eyes 2017-05-12
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His
boss asked what happened. The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church.
When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was
caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around
and punched me square in the eye." "Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss
asked.
"Well, " the man said, "I figured she ...
1 評論, 90 瀏覽次數,
14 票
,5.54 分數
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21st Century Newspaper 2017-05-12
I was visiting my last night when I asked if I could
borrow a newspaper. 'This is the 21st century, ' she said. 'We
don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.'.
I can tell you this... That fly never knew what hit him!!!
0 評論, 50 瀏覽次數,
11 票
,5.78 分數
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Best joke 2017-05-06
Simple or clever? Are jokes like sex, which is better - simple
hard animalistic fucking or connecting with the mind?
3 評論, 39 瀏覽次數,
9 票
,3.64 分數
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Fly Swatter 2017-05-03
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking
around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting flies, ” he responded.
“Oh! Killing any?” she asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 females, ” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell them apart?”
He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on ...
8 評論, 125 瀏覽次數,
22 票
,6.13 分數
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Blondes 2017-05-03
What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her forehead?
All you can eat for under a buck
Was do you call a blond that dies her hair brown?
Artificial Intelligence
What do you call 5 blondes standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel
3 評論, 44 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,2.78 分數
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Wife Singing 2017-05-03
A married woman starts singing, and sees her husband go
out the back door onto the deck... She goes to the back door, and ask him why do you go out on
the deck everytime I start singing??? Because I don't want
the neighbors to think I am beating you!!! lol...
3 評論, 53 瀏覽次數,
13 票
,5.66 分數
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Nymphomaniacs Convention 2017-05-01
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled
in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding
the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards
his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside
his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out,
" Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. " I'm
going to the ...
1 評論, 168 瀏覽次數,
12 票
,5.10 分數
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Marital Spat 2017-04-30
A guy was telling his friend that he and his wife had a serious
argument the night before.
“But it ended, ” he said, “when she came crawling
to me on her hands and knees.”
“What did she say?” asked the friend.
The husband replied, “She said, ‘Come out from under
that bed, you coward!'”
0 評論, 55 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,5.33 分數
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Tiny House 2017-04-30
A social worker from a big city recently transferred to
an area of hills and valleys in the Appalachians and was
on her first tour of her new territory when she came upon
the tiniest cabin she ever had seen.
Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. “Anybody
home?” she asked.
“Yep, ” came a ’s voice through the door.
“If your father there?” asked the ...
3 評論, 92 瀏覽次數,
14 票
,5.22 分數
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Hunting Guide Lost 2017-04-29
A local hunting guide got himself into a big problem. His
party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they
blamed him for leading them astray.
“You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!” they
asserted.
“I am!” he said, “but I think we’re in Wyoming now.”
!!!
2 評論, 57 瀏覽次數,
13 票
,6.00 分數
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i guy walks into a bar 2017-04-24
Does anyone have any good jokes?
0 評論, 24 瀏覽次數,
0 票
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Cash Cow 2017-04-20
A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit a calf that was crossing
the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained
what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today, " said the Cowboy. "But
in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what
I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out
a check and handed it to the Cowboy. "Here, "
he ...
1 評論, 118 瀏覽次數,
8 票
,4.41 分數
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For Nascar Fans 2017-04-20
A man walks into a bar with his dog. A Sprint Cup race is on
a TV. He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt Jr is doing.
The bartender says "Earnhardts is in 25th".
The jumps up, and runs around the barstool 25 times.
A couple of laps later, the bartender says "Earnhardt
Jr is up to 10th". The jumps up again and runs around
the barstool 10 times. A few laps later, the bartender says
"Earnhardt Jr ...
2 評論, 125 瀏覽次數,
11 票
,5.04 分數
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