|
A simple question? 2/14/2015
Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults have in adultery?
>>!
0 Comments, 20 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score |
|
left overs 2/13/2015
I walked into the kitchen tonight expecting my wife to be
fixing dinner. Instead she was standing there wearing
no clothes but wrapped in saran wrap. I turned around and
walked back out. I don't like leftovers.
3 Comments, 64 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score |
|
Love four-year-olds! 2/12/2015
A mother was shopping with her four-year-old . She smelled
something that smelled suspiciously like poop.
She asked her , “Did you poop in your pants?”
The boy looked at her and said no.
A few minutes later she smelled it again.
She asked her again, “Did you poop in your pants?”
The boy replied, “No Mom.”
Minutes later she ...
0 Comments, 273 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score |
|
The chicken and the 2/10/2015
On the farm lived a chicken and a , both of whom loved
to play together. One day the two were playing, when the fell into a bog
and began to sink. Scared for his life, the whinnied for the chicken
to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer,
but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only ...
0 Comments, 179 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score |
|
The chicken and the 2/10/2015
On the farm lived a chicken and a , both of whom loved
to play together. One day the two were playing, when the fell into a bog
and began to sink. Scared for his life, the whinnied for the chicken
to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer,
but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score |
|
Cards 2/5/2015
How is sex like a game of bridge? You either need a good partner or a good hand.
2 Comments, 12 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score |
|
Couple more I heard 2/5/2015
How do you know if you have a high sperm count ? She has to chew before she swallows.
2 potatos are standing on a corner, how can you tell which
one is a ? The one that says IDAHO!
2 Comments, 22 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score |
|
A man and a woman get into an elevator 2/5/2015
The woman takes off all her clothes, throws them on the floor
touches herself then says...
"Make me a woman!"
The man takes off all his clothes, throws them on the floor
points and says...
"Pick 'em up!"
0 Comments, 15 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score |
|
Oh FUCK.... 2/5/2015
Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?"
asked the wife. "No, " I said
. She gave me a sexy little smile, reached into her cleavage
and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.
"Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled
up?" she asked. "No, " I said.
She gave me another sexy little smile, reached into her
knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty ...
0 Comments, 108 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score |
|
getting wet 2/5/2015
"Give it to me, Give it to me !" , she yelled.
"I'm so fucking wet, give it to me Now!"
she cried.
Scream all she wants........ I'm keeping the fucking
umbrella
0 Comments, 30 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score |
|
rough 2/5/2015
Two men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine.
He lasts over 10 minutes. 'Crikey mate, that was impressive!' 'I get lots of practice' replied the other guy.
'My wifes epileptic'
1 Comments, 20 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score |
|
oops my bad =)) 2/5/2015
I keep having my profile on that well known dating website
rejected.
One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'.
Apparently 'my dick' is not an acceptable answer.
0 Comments, 9 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
Bad taste joke 2/5/2015
Whats the difference between a priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're a to come on your face
0 Comments, 9 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score |
|
Bad taste joke 2/5/2015
Whats the difference between a priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're a to come on your face
0 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
|
God 2/5/2015
Why did god create man first? Because he didn't want any advice.
0 Comments, 4 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Blonde 2/5/2015
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday? Tell her a joke on a Monday.
0 Comments, 1 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Lipstick 2/5/2015
Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? Because red means stop.
0 Comments, 1 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Fast food sex 2/5/2015
How did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his whopper.
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
What's thd difference? 2/5/2015
What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After 10 years you job still sucks.
0 Comments, 2 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Coins 2/5/2015
Nurse: Doctor how is that little girl that swallowed 10
coins last night? Doctor: no change yet.
0 Comments, 2 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
2 blondes 2/5/2015
2 blondes walk into a building.....you think one of them
would have seen it.
0 Comments, 1 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
What's the difference? 2/5/2015
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
When you sleep the mosquito it stops sucking.
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score |
|
Grandma 2/5/2015
'Mum there's a man at the door collecting for the
old folks home, shall I give him grandma?'
0 Comments, 10 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score |
|
The blonde 2/5/2015
What's the best blonde secretary to have in the world?
One that never misses her period
0 Comments, 4 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Better? 2/5/2015
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an
argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women.
Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything, " the woman
countered.
"Think about this: when your ear itches and you stick
your little finger in it, wiggle it around, and then ...
0 Comments, 70 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score |
|
Funny? 2/5/2015
“Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox
has a small one, Madonna doesn't have one, The Pope
has one but doesn't use it, Dominique Strauss-Khan
uses his all the time. What is it? A last name! And shame on
you for thinking it was something else.”
0 Comments, 24 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score |
|
Maybe a laugh 2/4/2015
If women with big breasts work at Hooters, where does someone
with only one leg work?
IHOP!
Bad I know....
0 Comments, 13 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score |
|
Maybe a laugh 2/4/2015
If women with big breasts work at Hooters, where does someone
with only one leg work?
IHOP!
Bad I know....
0 Comments, 5 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Blonde Joke 2/4/2015
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister,
"I slept with a Brazilian....
The blonde replies,
"Oh my God! You slut! How many is a Brazilian?"
1 Comments, 20 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score |
|
Genie 2/4/2015
2 Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He
asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10
inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?"
The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie."
The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says
the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly
cause he is a little hard at ...
0 Comments, 71 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score |